The Witchvox Project, #5: XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS
The favorite show of the Witchvox Staff!
(The Witchvox Project is an ongoing series of posts to this blog, reprinting all of my reviews and media articles from The Witches’ Voice website from 1997 through around 2008. This is being done in tandem with research for my forthcoming book The Witching Hour: How Witches Enchanted the World.)
I have many fond memories of watching this groundbreaking show with my friends Wren and Fritz. A favorite story we like to tell about the early days of Witchvox is that the URL was very nearly www.xenarules.com! Even after choosing witchvox, Fritz used to say “The ‘X’ stands for ‘xenarules’!”
Without Xena, we’d never have had the badass woman warriors who followed, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This article ended up being just a celebration of all the hottest characters…but hey, with all the serious work Witchvox was doing at the time, watching XENA was a guilty pleasure and a way to unwind!
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We at Voice Central love...XENA, Warrior Princess
Who doesn't? Xena is brave, strong, intelligent, beautiful, kind-hearted, resourceful, and equally skilled as a fighter and a healer. And the show gets better and better, with themes that often embrace a pagan, magickal view of the world.
Who is Xena? Quite simply, one of the most interesting, appealing and well-rounded (in more ways than one!) characters on television. In her leather and bronze armor, with her two-handed broadsword, her silver chakram (that cool, circular silver boomerang), and her martial arts-inspired moves, she is bardic poetry in motion, a medieval mistress of melee combat. She was born to be a warrior, but her nobility has inspired her to use her strength and skills to help the less fortunate.
X E N A R U L E S !!!
Yet Xena is not perfect. In her younger days (so goes the legend), she was bloodthirsty, greedy, vain, power-hungry, and hard-hearted. But the death and loss she saw over the years convinced her that she needed to turn her powers to other purposes. Along the way, she met Gabrielle, her faithful companion. Gabrielle was a slave with a talent for story-telling, who also trained with a band of Amazon warriors. As Xena's partner in crime, Gabrielle wields a wooden quarter staff, which does not shed blood, and stands clear when Xena performs her 20-foot-high flips into the air, her trademark.
As for her adventures, Xena has trafficked with some well-known heroes and villains, including Hercules, Julius Caesar, Helen of Troy, and her evil nemesis, Callisto. Other pagan deities she has encountered include Diana, Hades, and Ares. Though many of the show's episodes deal with serious subject matter, Xena has a sly sense of humor, as accomplished as her other arts. The show's writers cleverly introduce anachronistic elements to keep the show fresh and upbeat, while always retaining that mystical, pre-Roman Empire look and feeling.
We are overjoyed that there is a high-quality television show that deals with pagan themes in a positive way. But there is nearly always a tongue-in-cheek flavor to the show's writing, and it pokes fun as often as it tries to enlighten. The result is great entertainment that is steeped in a pagan worldview, and with some of the best costumes ever seen on television, bar none (if the show doesn't win an Emmy for costume design this year, I will...well, I'll do something).
In "Solstice Carol, " Xena met a fellow named "Sinteclice, " with a white beard and a red suit, who made toys and gave them to children at Winter Solstice; the holiday must be kept secret since it is illegal to celebrate the "Old Ways." In "A Royal Couple of Thieves" Xena meets Autolycus, the King of Thieves, whom she convinces to help her steal a powerful magic weapon. In "Girls Just Want to Have Fun, " which is my favorite episode, by the way, Xena and Gabrielle had to resist the seductive wiles of the undead. And in the recent hilarious "Here she comes...Miss Amphipolus, " Xena took part reluctantly in a beauty pageant for the title of "Miss Known World" and in the process poked fun at a very modern obsession.
As for more spiritual themes, the show has dealt with reincarnation, imprisonment in the Underworld, the three faces of the Goddess (Maiden, Mother and Crone), Amazon funeral rites, and shape-shifting, as well as a vast array of social issues (including homosexuality and alcoholism). Mythology is also a constant element, with episodes featuring Ulysses (in which Xena "out-sings" the Sirens!), Helen of Troy, Aphrodite and Cupid (a la Southern California) and Poseidon (giant god made of water: cool!)
But why do we REALLY watch the show? The pagan themes? The unbelievably-gorgeous costumes? The excellent production values? Yeah, sure, all that, but one other reason, too: Major babe sightings!
Lucy Lawless as Xena is, quite simply, stunning. Tall and graceful, with a strong and shapely body, this is no silicone beach bunny. Lucy's striking pale blue eyes and dazzling smile are worth the price of admission; and then there are her great fighting moves, her husky melodious voice, and her sexy, unique sense of humor which never fails. What's that sighing sound? It's the Central Staff, watching Xena remove her "Dance of the Seven Veils" costume...
Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) is a more recent favorite; her character has grown far more interesting, and there are some provocative, shall we say, physical issues, between her and Xena that are always fun to speculate about. We'd like to see Gabrielle do more storytelling and fighting, less apologizing for not being as cool as Xena (hey, NO ONE can be as cool as Xena, get over yourself, girl!), and maybe wear something sparkly once in a while. Fritz is a Xena man, all the way, but has admitted that Gabrielle gets cuter all the time...
Other total babes include:
Autolychus, the King of Thieves (Bruce Campbell): Good-looking, conceited and witty, but bungling enough to be lovable. Xena thinks he has a good heart, but we have a feeling she won't ever do him...though who can tell? We hope (well, Peg does, anyway!) to see much more of him.
Callisto, Evil Nemesis of Xena: Blonde, slender, mean as a cat drowned in dog pee, Callisto is nothing but trouble, especially when she finds a way to switch bodies with Xena (and she does this with alarming frequency). The character everyone loves to hate. Fritz likes her, for some reason. We'd like to see her put on ten pounds, and maybe switch to green contacts.
Ares, God of War: Dark, handsome, built like a brick Trojan Horse, this guy is too powerful for his own good. He is smart and sexy, a great warrior, but has a short fuse. Wren likes him. It would be neat to see him tangle with Xena minus his super-deity powers.
Velasca, Queen of the Amazons: A gorgeous blue-eyed redhead, but unfortunately evil. She hates Gabrielle for trying to usurp her crown, and turned the Amazons against each other in her quest for power. Smart but snotty, charismatic but megalomaniacal, we expect Xena will make hamburger out of her, one day soon...